:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: Sweet Joke of the day 01 Dec 10

 

Lovely Pool

A good looking woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed.

Naked and just as she was about to dive in, the orchard grower appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited.

"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.

He replied, "Hey! Only swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't…"

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Random Jokes from Archive

The Letter

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help Within a few seconds the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."

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Anurag Bhatia

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:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: THERE'S MORE THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE.............

Two Tough Questions Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one. Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates. Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps untilnoon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, and then scroll down for the reply. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- To find the answers. Scroll down, please. Answer to Question No. 1 If your answer to the abortion question: Is YES . . . .. . . you just killed Beethoven the GREAT musician Answer to Question No. 2 Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. Pretty interesting, isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone !!!!

:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: Good Morning Everyone....

 

 

Good Morning Everyone....

Hey Sleeping People!
Come back from the dreams,
New Day has been started
Welcome to another lovely morning

Have a nice day

**********************

Every new day is a new chapter of Life,
bringing new topic and mements for you,
I wish allged moments come to you and make your day joyful.
Good Morning

**********************

I Bring You A Few Good Things This

Beautiful Morning. I Bring You My Good

Wishes & Prayers To Keep You Healthy,

But Most Of All To Keep You Smiling,

I Bring You My Love & Happiness

May You Be Blessed

This Beautiful Day

**********************

Ai mere sms mere dost k pas jana,

Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,

jab wo jage to dhere se muskurana aur kahna.

Good morning........

**********************

Is pyari si subah mein,

pyare se mausam mein,

pyari si koyal ki awaz,

pyari si hawaon mein,

sabse pyare insan,

aur sabse pyare dost ko Hamari taraf se

Good Morning ka paigam...

**********************

So simple is to live; So simple is to love;

So simple is to smile; So simple is to win

but so difficult it’s to be simple!

Good Morning

**********************

Your thoughts guide you to your destiny.
If you always think the same you will always get to the same place.
Think in a new way and you will be a new person.
Give happiness to all and you will live in peace.
Create peace in your mind and you will create a world of peace around you.

Good Morning !!!!

**********************

One of the joys in life

is waking up each day

with thoughts that somewhere,

Someone cares enough to

send a warm morning greeting!

Good morning and enjoy the day!

**********************

Laugh about your mistakes,

But, learn from them.

Joke over your troubles,

But, gather strength from them.

Have fun with your difficulties,

But, overcome them.

That's the way to live LIFE.

Have a great day ahead !!

**********************

Life is full of beautiful things :

Soft Sunset,

Pointed Rainbow,

Dedicate blossoms,

Love & laughter,

Quiet moments & fantastic people like YOU AND ME...

Good Morning

**********************

 

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:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: Dosti SMS

 

 

 

Dosti SMS
*************

Kinaro pe sagar ke khazane nahi aate,
Fir jeevan mein dost purane nahi aate,
Jee lo in palo ko hass ke janab,
Fir laut ke dosti ke zamane nahi aate.

***************************************

Duri ho to ehsaas hota hai,
Dost k bina jiwan kitna udaas hota hai,
Umar ho apki sitaro jitni lambi,
Aisa dost kahan har kisik paas hota hai.

***************************************

Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega
Jab hum na rahe to dosti kon karga
a khuda mere dosto ko salmat rakhna
warna meri shaadi me dance kaun karega?

***************************************

Teri pyari si umeed kaise tod jaaun
tu khwab dekhe aur main nazar na aaun
kuch to baat hai dosti me apni 
kya tere kadam nahi kahte ek baar mil aaun ?

***************************************

Read more DOSTI sms in Hindi

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:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: [FUN]

 

Don't Miss this offers... The Management Course Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Lesson 4: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 5: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, "sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Lesson 6: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE !

1. Funny Pictures
2. 15 Police Comments
3. How much you love your GF
4. Employee Contest
5. Snow in the Caribbean
6. Hindi PJ
7. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates
8. 404
9. Jokes Of Mr. Bean
10. Dishes to Wishes

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:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: How guys select the girl

 

How guys select the girl collection of humor articles?click to Join Us A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money. Guess which lady he chose to marry? Think like a man . . . (scroll down for the answer) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * He married the most beautiful one!!!!!! Men are Men.... Obviously!!! :) *******

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:::|Sweet Jokes™ |::: Blonde Detective Training - (JOKE)

 

LOVE CRAZY THOUGHTS? JOIN NOW A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with? Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear. ********************* YOU MAY ALSO LIKE THIS ... ! Funny Pictures 15 Police Comments How much you love your GF Employee Contest Snow in the Caribbean Hindi PJ Steve Jobs and Bill Gates 404 Jokes Of Mr. Bean Dishes to Wishes

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