A Cat's Dictionary

A Cat's Dictionary

Aquarium: interactive television for cats.

Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.

Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.

Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.

Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.

Dog: a cat's device for running practice.

Im-purr-sonate: to act like the cat.

Purr-ade: an organized march of cats.

Purr-adise: the garden of Cats.

Purr-amour: a cat lover.

Purr-anoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.

Purr-aphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.

Purr-ch: any favored feline napping spot.

Purr-chase: anything bought for a cat.

Purr-fume: the scent of an open can of tuna.

Purr-gatory: a houseful of kittens.

Purr-mission: a feline hunting expedition.

Purr-petual: everlasting feline love.

Purr-plex: a house with two or more cats.

Purr-son: a male kitten.

Purr-suit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.

Purr-verse: a poem about a wicked kitty.

Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.

Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed

 

Old Lady Parking

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. She was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!"

The man, being a real smart alec, said,

"Oh, well, that's what you can do when you're young and bright."

This made the lady even angrier, so she got in her car, backed up, pressed on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes.

The young man raced back to his car and exclaimed, "What did you go and do that for?"

The little old lady replied, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"