21st Century....
We are becoming lesser by the day
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very Very less
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down at the bar to have a drink when the bartender screams, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" asks the man
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table.......
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in sight, I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again and has his Monkey with him. He orders a drink and the Monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the Monkey finds a bowl of Maraschino Cherries on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. Then the Monkey finds a peanut, again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted, "Did you see what your Monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," the guy replied, "He still eats everything in sight but ever since he had to shit that cue ball, he measures everything first."
*************************************************************************************************************************************
Laugh about your mistakes,
But, learn from them.
Joke over your troubles,
But, gather strength from them.
Have fun with your difficulties,
But, overcome them.
That's the way to live LIFE.
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his
head.
Microsoft Europe Chairman Selection
A programming language uses control statements to cause the flow of execution to advance and branch based on changes to the state of a program. Java's program control statements can be put into the following categories: selection, iteration, and jump. Selection statements allow your program to choose different paths of execution based upon the outcome of an expression or the state of a variable. Iteration statements enable program execution to repeat one or more statements (that is, iteration statements form loops). Jump statements allow your program to execute in a nonlinear fashion. All of Java's control statements are examined here.
If you know C/C++/C#, then Java's control statements will be familiar territory. In fact, Java's control statements are nearly identical to those in those languages. However, there are a few differences—especially in the break and continue statements.
Java's Selection Statements
Java supports two selection statements: if and switch. These statements allow you to control the flow of your program's execution based upon conditions known only during run time. You will be pleasantly surprised by the power and flexibility contained in these two statements.
if
The if statement was introduced in. It is examined in detail here. The if statement is Java's conditional branch statement. It can be used to route program execution through two different paths.
Here is the general form of the if statement:
if (condition) statement1;
else statement2;
Here, each statement may be a single statement or a compound statement enclosed in curly braces (that is, a block). The condition is any expression that returns a boolean value.
The else clause is optional.
The if works like this: If the condition is true, then statement1 is executed. Otherwise, statement2 (if it exists) is executed. In no case will both statements be executed.
For example, consider the following:
int a, b;
// ...
if(a < b) a = 0;
else b = 0;
Here, if a is less than b, then a is set to zero. Otherwise, b is set to zero. In no case are they both set to zero. Most often, the expression used to control the if will involve the relational operators. However, this is not technically necessary. It is possible to control the if using a single Boolean variable, as shown in this code fragment:
boolean dataAvailable;
// ...
if (dataAvailable)
ProcessData();
else
waitForMoreData();
Remember, only one statement can appear directly after the if or the else. If you want to include more statements, you'll need to create a block, as in this fragment:
int bytesAvailable;
// ...
if (bytesAvailable > 0) {
ProcessData();
bytesAvailable -= n;
} else
waitForMoreData();
Here, both statements within the if block will execute if bytesAvailable is greater than zero. Some programmers find it convenient to include the curly braces when using the if, even when there is only one statement in each clause. This makes it easy to add another statement at a later date, and you don't have to worry about forgetting the braces. In fact, forgetting to define a block when one is needed is a common cause of errors.
For example, consider the following code fragment:
int bytesAvailable;
// ...
if (bytesAvailable > 0) {
ProcessData();
bytesAvailable -= n;
} else
waitForMoreData();
bytesAvailable = n;
It seems clear that the statement bytesAvailable = n; was intended to be executed inside the else clause, because of the indentation level. However, as you recall, whitespace is insignificant to Java, and there is no way for the compiler to know what was intended. This code will compile without complaint, but it will behave incorrectly when run.
The preceding example is fixed in the code that follows:
int bytesAvailable;
// ...
if (bytesAvailable > 0) {
ProcessData();
bytesAvailable -= n;
} else {
waitForMoreData();
bytesAvailable = n;
}
Nested ifs
A nested if is an if statement that is the target of another if or else. Nested ifs are very common in programming. When you nest ifs, the main thing to remember is that an else statement always refers to the nearest if statement that is within the same block as the else and that is not already associated with an else.
Here is an example:
if(i == 10) {
if(j < 20) a = b;
if(k > 100) c = d; // this if is
else a = c; // associated with this else
}
else a = d; // this else refers to if(i == 10)
As the comments indicate, the final else is not associated with if(j<20), because it is not in the same block (even though it is the nearest if without an else). Rather, the final else is associated with if(i==10). The inner else refers to if(k>100), because it is the closest if within the same block.
The if-else-if Ladder
A common programming construct that is based upon a sequence of nested ifs is the if-else-if ladder.
It looks like this:
if(condition)
statement;
else if(condition)
statement;
else if(condition)
statement;
...
else
statement;
The if statements are executed from the top down. As soon as one of the conditions controlling the if is true, the statement associated with that if is executed, and the rest of the ladder is bypassed. If none of the conditions is true, then the final else statement will be executed. The final else acts as a default condition; that is, if all other conditional tests fail, then the last else statement is performed. If there is no final else and all other conditions are false, then no action will take place.
Here is a program that uses an if-else-if ladder to determine which season a particular month is in.
// Demonstrate if-else-if statements.
class IfElse {
public static void main(String args[]) {
int month = 4; // April
String season;
if(month == 12 || month == 1 || month == 2)
season = "Winter";
else if(month == 3 || month == 4 || month == 5)
season = "Spring";
else if(month == 6 || month == 7 || month == 8)
season = "Summer";
else if(month == 9 || month == 10 || month == 11)
season = "Autumn";
else
season = "Bogus Month";
System.out.println("April is in the " + season + ".");
}
}
Here is the output produced by the program:
April is in the Spring.
You might want to experiment with this program before moving on. As you will find, no matter what value you give month, one and only one assignment statement within the ladder will be executed.
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