Wedding Bells for World's Heaviest Man

Wedding Bells for World's Heaviest Man

MONTERREY: Low-calorie food dominated at the wedding reception of Mexican Manuel Uribe, the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of

World's fattest man, Mexico's Manuel Uribe, on his way to get married.
Records. Uribe married his friend's widow in a televised ceremony which the US Discovery Channel dubbed "My Big Fat Mexican Wedding".

The menu included a "low-calorie banquet" with meat, cream of mushroom and buttered vegetables.

Despite shedding 230 kilos early on this year, Uribe, 43, had to be carried by a crane on his bed, where he has been confined for years, to the makeshift altar at a venue 30 minutes from his home. Before the diet, he weighed 590 kilos
The ceremony was televised by Discovery as part of a special, exclusive program titled after the 2002 US movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," with other reporters from Japan, Germany and Argentina in tow.

Uribe has been suffering from morbid obesity since 1992. He was gripped by suicidal thoughts until February of this year when he undertook a drastic diet.

He and his wife, Claudia Solis, first met four years ago at the deathbed of a friend. The friend weighed 250 kilos. (TOI)

Thanks & Regards

=============================

Hemanth Bolem

Associate System Engineer-Testing | SPRY Resources India Pvt. Ltd | www.spryindia.com

EMPOWERING IMAGINATION

NOTICE BY SPRY RESOURCES This message, as well as any attached document, contains information from SPRY Resources that is proprietary, confidential and/or privileged. The information is intended only for the use of the addressee named above. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message or its attachments is strictly prohibited, and may be unlawful. If you have received this message in error, please delete all electronic copies of this message and its attachments, if any, destroy any hard copies you may have created, without disclosing the contents, and notify the sender immediately. Unintended transmission does not constitute waiver of any privilege. Unless expressly stated otherwise, nothing contained in this message should be construed as a digital or electronic signature, nor is it intended to reflect an intention to make an agreement by electronic means.

Wife - Serious Observations of GREAT MEN

David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.


Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..

Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer.... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives.

 The first one left me and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.”

Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Indian Stock-Market Trends

LAUGH  AWAY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks & Regards

=============================

Hemanth Bolem

Associate System Engineer-Testing | SPRY Resources India Pvt. Ltd | www.spryindia.com

EMPOWERING IMAGINATION 

NOTICE BY SPRY RESOURCES This message, as well as any attached document, contains information from SPRY Resources that is  proprietary, confidential and/or privileged. The information is intended only for the use of the addressee named above. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message or its attachments is strictly prohibited, and may be unlawful. If you have received this message in error, please delete all electronic copies of this message and its attachments, if any, destroy any hard copies you may have created, without disclosing the contents, and notify the sender immediately. Unintended transmission does not constitute waiver of any privilege. Unless expressly stated otherwise, nothing contained in this message should be construed as a digital or electronic signature, nor is it intended to reflect an intention to make an agreement by electronic means.

 

Nice Jokes ---- Have a Great Laugh

1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called "Saints", But now they are called.. "IT professionals"


2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt : "If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"


3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..   Its just that,
One loves too much, And the other loves too many,


4) Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary...!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!


5) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed...!


6) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams..!


7) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!


8) Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!


9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an...  Opening for you..! "
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door...!"


10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee..... Leave them to us.

Time Pass Jokes

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.

Do u know what the business was?

He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

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Sardar gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, Climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.

A man asks why he does this.

Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch  manager."

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Sardarji standing below a tube light with an open mouth..........WHY?

because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"

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Sardar & Family Go 2 A Party.

He Introduces Himself - I Sardar,

She Sardarnee,

The Boy My Kid &

The Girl My Kidney....

********************************************************

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.

U know Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

********************************************************

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

********************************************************

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet.

Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

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A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

*******************************************************

Wife : Honey ..... What are You Looking for ?

Husband :  Nothing.

Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ..??

Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

*******************************************************

2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!"

Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki Reliance mai Job.

*******************************************************

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?

A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

*******************************************************

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

*******************************************************

Sardar to his friend "I kiss my Wife everyday before leaving for Office, what about you?"

Friend :  Me too, after you leave.

*******************************************************

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied...

Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

*******************************************************

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

******************************************************

Man before Marriage is like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"

After Marriage He's Like Hutch... “Where ever U Go Our Network Follows."

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?'

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'
'You're an IT Consultant', says Bud.
Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep . . .

Now give me back my dog

Telegram
It was the morning of Ralph's birthday and there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Bob asked.
"Telegram!" was the reply.
Enthusiastically, Ralph opened the door and asked the messenger boy, "Is it a singing telegram?"
"No Sir. We don't do singing telegrams," the messenger replied.
"Oh, but I've always wanted to receive a singing telegram!" Ralph said. "Couldn't you just bend the rules a little and make an old man happy?"
"I'm sorry, sir, it wouldn't be appropriate," replied the messenger.
"Please," Ralph pleaded, "After all, today is my birthday."
"OK, if you insist," the messenger said. He unfolded the telegram and began singing, "Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah, your sister Rose is dead..."

Lions
Eight-year-old Benny's father took him to the zoo one afternoon.
The boy asked his father all kinds of questions about the various animals they visited.
They eventually came to the fenced-in preserve where they kept the lions. The father was explaining how ferocious and strong the lions were. Benny was hanging on every word.
"Daddy," he asked, "If a lion ever jumped over that fence and ate you up..."
"Yes, son?" the father said.
Benny added, "What bus should I take home?"

Half Asleep
Ever notice you sometimes have the craziest thoughts when you're half asleep? We came up with these amusing musings, also known as "Deep Thoughts," also known as "What are you smoking?"

1. If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing and Jumping Off Stuff.

2. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

3. At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?"
and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh, it's okay," the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray?" Then you would get into an argument with the patient and he
probably wouldn't pay his bill.

4. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down!" He
cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

5. Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment?” I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth, you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

6. If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them all up for free drinks.

7. Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine, which probably explains why none of us died of tuberculosis.

8. I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because there are some Chihuahuas with really good ideas.

9. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

10. I'd rather be rich than stupid.

11. To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

12. If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

13. He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said,
"Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them.

14. The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went  home. I guess some things never leave you.

15. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is that God is crying. When he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

16. As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks."

Martha said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but then she said it was just a joke. I think she was just trying to get out of writing the letter. She is so lazy!

17. If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to off you.

18. If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

19. The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

20. When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular Heaven or Pie heaven, choose Pie Heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm!

21. I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver, and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

22. Swans mate for life, but I don't think it's that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for
life?

23. I wish outer-space aliens would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

24. I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money so I could buy a solid gold pick. Then I'd go out in the mountains and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked
what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya darn fool!" He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy."

25. I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is   freaking out. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.

26. I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting.

"That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.

27. I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the
team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back or try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something was brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can
mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

28. If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression I would be trying to convey with my store. On the other hand, I would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

29. Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling his story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought, "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I thought to myself, "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.

30. I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the
eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

No Pets Allowed

One Sunday afternoon, a guy walked into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the (insert the name of a football team you wish to lampoon) game and you'll see."

The bartender, anxious to see what would happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever they score a field goal, my dog does flips." The team kept scoring field goals and the dog responded by flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there," the bartender commented. "What happens when they score a touchdown?" he asked.

"I don't know," the man replied, "I've only had him for seven years."

 

Love and Marriage
     

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

 

 

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

 

 

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

  

 

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

 

 Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

 

 

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

 

 

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

 

 

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

 

 

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

 

 

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

  

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

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Thanks & Regards

=============================

Hemanth Bolem

Associate System Engineer-Testing | SPRY Resources India Pvt. Ltd | www.spryindia.com

EMPOWERING IMAGINATION 

NOTICE BY SPRY RESOURCES This message, as well as any attached document, contains information from SPRY Resources that is  proprietary, confidential and/or privileged. The information is intended only for the use of the addressee named above. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this message or its attachments is strictly prohibited, and may be unlawful. If you have received this message in error, please delete all electronic copies of this message and its attachments, if any, destroy any hard copies you may have created, without disclosing the contents, and notify the sender immediately. Unintended transmission does not constitute waiver of any privilege. Unless expressly stated otherwise, nothing contained in this message should be construed as a digital or electronic signature, nor is it intended to reflect an intention to make an agreement by electronic means.

 

Dictionary for women

Dictionary for women

 

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

 

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

 

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

 

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

 

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

 

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

 

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

 

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

 

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

 

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

 

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

 

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

 

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

 

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

 

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

 

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

 

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

 

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.