The Earth is Round?

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Couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

"I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable , and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."

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You Might Be a Technician if...

- you have ever tried to repair a $15.00 radio.
- you think of the gadgets in your office as "friends."
- you think your computer looks better without the cover.
- you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as is."
- you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
- you think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
- the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
- the microphone at a meeting doesn't work and you rush up to fix it.
- you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.
- you own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.
- you just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics kit you got for your ninth birthday.
- you have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

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The Earth is Round?

 

Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?

Milton: I can't. Besides, I never said it was.

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Taxidermist vs. Tax Collector

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

The taxidermist only takes the skin

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Happy New Year 2009

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A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle? If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.

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A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked. The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me." "Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

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