Only For Women

Good laugh for Women (and guys, too!!) ********** One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine? "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma " And they say woman are dumb... ********** A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." **********  "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. **********  Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A Rumor ********** A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!  ********** Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ********** Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?  A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.  Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. ********** Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" **********